I also had to wait about 9 minutes in the Burger King drive-thru today

It's been a rough week.

First off, I decided for about four days that hey, maybe I should have been an athlete all those years.

Bad idea.

I went running, as I have every Thursday for the past... 5-ish Thursdays. Then, I met up with a friend, who wanted to go to the gym. We were supposed to go to a dancy-cardio class. It was full. She talked me into a weight class. Horrible, horrible idea.

The following day, we went to an actual cardio-dance class and then decided we'd try out the gliding class. Well, I had agreed to it in advance but by the time it began I was kinda like "you know, if your muscles are getting sore, why don't we just go home?" but God knows my friend would continue working out in the middle of an earthquake and I wasn't going to be the one to stop her. 15 minutes in, I couldn't do a whole lot. My endurance just isn't made for that kind of shit. 5 minutes later, she informed me her injury was really starting to bother her and that was the end of that. We went home.

I should add, that before going home, we sat in these awesomely fantastic massage chairs to make our muscles feel better. In my opinion, these chairs could soon replace men. Except for, you know, that whole fertilization thing. But we're working on that one.

Anyway, we got home, put muscle relaxant on and relaxed for the evening. I was fairly sure I was going to be sore the next day but my friend even had the nerve to say she didn't think I would be sore the next day - she certainly worked harder than I did. Ridiculous logic, when you think about it, but you get the idea.

The following day, I was actually alright. Sore, but it was bearable. In my opinion, the second day is always the worst, but since it was my first day on the second workout and second day on the first workout, I was expecting to be pretty sore, and figured I was in the clear.

The day after that, I woke up, and was not physically able to move my neck. In some ways, for the entire day. I was able to get up out of bed after a little while, but even at the end of the day, I could not look up or to the left without turning my entire torso. It was some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. Tylenol, muscle relaxants, nothing could do anything. I was dizzy and had migraines throughout the day, resolved only by darkness and cold compresses. It was bad.

So basically, in three days, I have gotten all the use out of my gym membership.

I gots 3 G's of love

My 16 year old brother is going through a phase where he thinks he has become extremely cool, and consequently uses words such as "ain't" and "sup" and such. Today, he told me he was "going out with some bros" later. I responded, "you have bros?" to which he responded, "i got peeps too" like I should obviously know the difference. Finally, I somewhat conceded, and asked him what I was. And you know what he said? "Cool." That's right, he has peeps, and bros, and his big sis', who could probably go by any number of cool names, got labeled just plain cool. I love my brother.

A watched pot never boils

Alright, I'm sitting here, and I just tried a last-ditch solution to get the oil out of the interlock on the driveway, and I have so much invested in the outcome of this scenario, that I am actually sitting here, watching the ground dry, and I realize how sad this is, so I thought I should probably tell you. So this way, I can say I was doing something productive. But we both know the truth.

Lisa the track star

So you may or may not know that I have decided to take up running - more likely the latter, since I have told basically no one, but there is always the chance you have seen me running spastically around Ottawa telling myself that I look sexy (I'm pretty sure I don't).

Anyway, since I've been known to jump head first into ideas and then abandon them I try not to invest too much in them and considering the reason I took up running was because a friend of mine is going to run a marathon and I was running with her "to help her self esteem," I decided I didn't want to buy any "real running clothes".

Now, that being said, you have to consider the fact that since I am not athletic at all, I don't own anything that could even remotely pass as running clothes. So, I resorted to the next best thing. Pajamas.

At first, it wasn't too bad. It was cold, I wore a track sweater I like to wear over my shirt and I was wearing brown stretch pants, so I looked moderately socially acceptable. Yesterday, being 22 degrees, was a different story.

Initially, I had decided I would wear the same thing as the first time, but we quickly realized that would not be an option - it was freaking hot. I only had one pair of shorts. They were red, with either kittens or presents on them - it was hard to tell. But, I concluded, if I wear my pink American Eagle shirt, it looks almost like I have a track outfit like my running partner, who was wearing basically the same thing but in black and blue with the name of her running store on them. This was good enough for me.

Her brother came out to say goodbye to us, and commented, "I've never seen a running outfit like that before!" "They are my pajamas!" I responded. He took this to mean that I intended to change before leaving. I did not.

"Oh, you're actually wearing that to run?" He said, as we walked out the door. Whatever. Too late to change my mind now!

Incidentally, I didn't really get any reactions over it. Or comments, at least. Sure, we got honked at a couple of times, and a fireman fully turned around to check us out as his truck drove by, but I'm pretty sure that would have happened even if I had been wearing regular shorts. Girls showing skin, come on!

You can't always get what you want

So I saw 21 tonight, and I won't get into too many details, but basically, it was a huge flop. Huge. Flop. I don't know how it got good reviews. I thought it had a good soundtrack. Primarily because they had the song "Young folks" which my roommate forbids me from playing and he was there so I took an immense amount of joy out of hearing it while in the same room as him. Secondly, because they had that song which basically just repeats the line "You can't always get what you want" and since there was only 5 other people in the theatre other than the three of us I felt that I was at liberty to sing along at the top of my lungs. Oh, and there were lots of pretty colours and expensive things, and the main actor was kinda hot. And it had Kevin Spacey. And Laurence Fishburne. And the Fire Captain from Rescue Me. But while I love all of them, not even a plethora or great actors can make a mediocre movie great, and this movie was barely mediocre. It was predictable, and the "twist" got totally ruined by a second, lamer twist. It's unfortunate, too, because the concept is really cool, but apparently no one wants to explore anything new these days and the directors just didn't have the guts to take this as far as they could have without packaging it in a perfect blockbuster package.

Text message conversation of the day

"I just accidentally flashed a customer."

"Was she hot?"

"She was someone's wife, yes."

"A wilf!"

Speaking of which, I had to explain to someone what a milf was the other day. How is it that in a room full of men, the only one who knows what it is, is the 22 year old girl? Yeah, I don't know either.

The indestructible phone

A friend of mine lost his phone about a month ago. No big deal, I mean, it was an expensive mistake, but he tends to lose them pretty frequently so it wasn't particularly shocking. We went back and looked for it, but we knew there was about a 95% chance he had dropped it on the side of the road during a snow storm so we figured we would probably never see it again with all the plows out pushing stuff around and such.

Anyway, the other night I got a text message from someone saying she thought she had found a phone belonging to someone by his name. As I had called it countless times after we lost it and she had my number, I figured it had to be the right phone, but I was totally blown away.

Last night I went to pick it up and man, you would not believe the state of this phone. It looked like it had been in my pocket for the last month, not sitting in a snow bank - it was in mint condition. It was in better condition than it would have been had we kept it!

I thought, it had to have been indoors all this time - but sure enough, her son found it at the bus stop right where we lost it. It must have been in the snow bank. For a month. She said he had to peel it out of its case, which was completely destroyed, but the frigging phone was in mint condition! She was even able to turn it on to get his name and my number. I know my phone, when it gets really cold, will turn off even though it has battery power left and presumably that is what happened, but still. Not even water damage. Half the time his phones get water damage when they haven't been in the water!

We thanked her profusely and were once again reminded that there are, in fact, good people in this world. But a month under probably a hundred centimetres of snow. Someone at Motorola is doing something right.

Accident-prone as always

Well, I'm obviously still not doing my paper and I figured it only right that I share with you what just happened 20 minutes ago and now I am in pain and I have no one to whine to and I have a better excuse to continue procrastinating so I am going to tell you.

I've been crashing at a friends the last few days - a break from the roommate troubles and all that, and he has someone else staying with him for a couple weeks with whom I do not get along at all. In my defense, I was staying here when she showed up needing somewhere to stay, and she was supposed to be gone a week ago but shows no intention of leaving ever so I hope you don't think I am terrible for staying here in spite of her. Him and I are a lot closer, so it would be weird if I stopped coming by because of her.

So my friend is working today, leaving her and I alone together. She doesn't have a job, or go to school, so she typically sleeps until around 4pm (or at least stays in bed), which really, is fine by me, but I really wasn't in the mood to see her today so I set myself up in "my room" for the day.

Anyway, it's 1:30, and I'm hungry, so I decide to go heat up leftovers to eat. After they are heated, I decide to stealthily go back to my room to grab my drink and magazine without making enough noise to coax her into coming out to talk to me - she won't typically talk to me unless she wants information or something anyway, so it's not a difficult feat, but I didn't really want her to know I was awake, either.

So I grab my drink and my magazine and quietly make my way down the stairs, and then, in true Lisa style, trip, fall down the entire set of stairs, followed by the huge delayed crash as my drink got thrown into the air and then landed - hard - on the hardwood floor. So there I am, lying on the floor in immense pain, surrounded by glass and covered in pepsi and having made an immense racket, and, of course, the very person I am avoiding comes running out to find out what has taken place.

Great. I explain to her that I am fine but that it's going to be about 5 minutes before I move. She doesn't offer to help clean up. That's fine. I thank her for coming out and making sure I am okay. She goes back to bed. I spend the next 15 minutes cleaning up my mess. Sometimes I don't know how I function on a regular basis.