A day in the life of an undergraduate

12:50pm: Decide waiting for more hot water to become available for my showering pleasure is more important than making it to my 1pm class. Text buddies to inform, will arrive at end of class.
1pm: Realize prof will be at 2:30 seminar I am attending with buddies. Decide to go anyway.
1:15pm: Shower. Get things together.
1:45pm: Leave for lunch.
2:25pm: Head to school
2:40: Arrive at school, late, but not too late. Walk into seminar. Realize I am the only non-prof there. Sit down anyway.
2:50pm: Friends arrive. No longer look like a mix between a huge loser and the most loyal student in the department. Relieved that prof for earlier class has not shown up.
3:10pm: Wine and cheese becomes available. Realize profs are all over it. This makes it fair game for me.
3:20: Professor for a course which I skipped an entire semester of recognizes me. Does not know from where. Has a good idea. Have had half a glass of wine.
3:30: I am now good buddies with every prof I have ever had. Gotten several compliments on my French. Evil past professor likes me now. Wants me to sign up for masters. He decides I am a student from a local community that worked a lot and never came to class. I decide to tell him I worked a lot and never came to class, but that I am not that student. He is satisfied. Now on second glass of wine.
3:35: Prof from earlier class shows up. I don't make eye contact. I decide if she talks to me, I like her anyway, in spite of the fact that her course is terrible. I decide I will say I am sick if she questions me. I find master's student to corroborate my story.
3:39: Prof does not acknowledge me. She should be impressed I am doing extracurricular studies anyway. Every other prof is looking at us with shiny eyes, because they are so glad we like our language studies enough to pursue them outside of class. I am well liked enough in the department to save my reputation, anyway. Every prof knows my attendance record sucks but my marks don't.
3:40: Place starts to clear out, my conversation partners start to disperse. Commence conversation with master's students.
4pm: C'est le temps à partir. I am a little tipsy. I share this with my buddy in the washroom. She is too. I have a midterm in 25 minutes. I haven't started studying, and I am kinda giggly.
4:10: I decide I will resolve this with a cookie.
4:12: I eat cookie and decide the class should tutor me for the next 10 minutes. I divulge that I have been drinking and I find German quite hilarious right now. They inform me the test should be fairly easy and teach me the basic concepts.
4:30: I am now more sober, and write the test with ease. As far as I can tell. I decide I should drink with the department more often.