I like my rum and pepsi straight and unmixed

I don't know what it is, but it seems like I can never just go to the grocery store and buy groceries without incident like a normal person.

Today I went to pick up some laundry detergent, which basically means I can still go through the express line, but I have about 8 things I really don't need.

In other words, I had detergent, a case of pepsi, two easter eggs filled with Ferrero Rocher chocolates, chocolate milk, and a lunch combo.

The guy in front of me gave me space to put it on the cashier's stand and started a conversation with me.

"Yeah, you'd think I'd be smart enough to buy the heaviest things on separate trips but nope, I'm not."

"What's with the pepsi, anyway?" he responds, "you can't drink rum with that."

"I know, I know," I say, with an audience of 5 or 6 people at this point, "but I prefer that straight."

"Yeah I guess pepsi is better straight."

"Pepsi? I was talking about the rum!"

So basically, it's 11am, and the entire grocery store thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. Just another average day in the life of Lisa.

Interestingly enough, the cashier didn't seem to want to see me go. But that's a whole other story, I think, which I would title, "Lisa doesn't understand why she gets hit on more unshowered and disheveled, when she has yet to consider brushing her teeth or hair on that particular day, than on any given day that she actually gets dressed."