Girl power

Back in the day, I was slightly anti-women.

Seems silly now, but my experiences with women, for the most part, were moderately negative. Not so much with relatives or anything, but the girls at school. It seemed to me they were all quite nasty, talking behind each other's backs and playing cruel games for popularity - I never wanted to confide in them because everyone I know would know by the end of the day.

Then I met boys. Boys, it seemed, were my saving grace. They cared. They listened. They appreciated having a women's perspective on everything. I could trust them with my secrets, and I loved it.

In little time at all, I had eliminated the bulk of my female friends. I had a few, sure, but they were more activity friends and less close friends. This lasted for most of high school and the bulk of my university career. It was easy in high school; none of the guys had the guts to ask me out anyway. In university I had a male best friend which, in retrospect, scared most of the guys away.

Eventually I realized that male best friend was a bad idea. Soon after, I realized that, at this point in our lives, guys aren't looking for a female friend. They are looking for a girlfriend. Or nothing at all. But it's all or nothing. Consequently, when that friendship ended, so did a lot of my other close friendships, as I started finding I was rejecting far more guys than I ever had before, and that I had very few friends that actually wanted to be my friend.

One day, I decided, I had made a mistake. I missed girls. I wanted to do girly things. I wanted to dress up for no good reason. I wanted to watch Disney movies and bake and talk about how ridiculous it was that no guy could just like me platonically. I wanted to talk someone's ear off without thinking they were only talking to me in hopes that I would sleep with them. And, I cultivated new friends. Now my friends are 90% girls, and I would not give them up for the world. And I know they will always be there for me when the chips are down. Sure, I still don't like cattiness or gossip - and I can't stand it when I overhear a group of girls going, "Oh my GOD, have you SEEN Katie Holmes' new hair cut? It is SO CUTE!" but I remember that I have much better friends now, and they make me laugh, at ridiculousness. They embody the true meaning of being a woman.

P.S. I just want to say, it was very difficult to go this long without making a joke. So, I will finish off by sharing my all-time favourite compliment, which I was reminded of earlier today. It was directed towards a fairly strict riding instructor, who typically wore her hair in a ponytail but one day wore it down. One of her clients walked up to her and said, completely sincerely, "Wow, you look much less harsh than usual today!"

When I stopped laughing I spent the rest of the day telling people things like, "hey, you look much less fat than usual today!"

Sometimes a compliment isn't always a compliment.